Even if parents are thick as Nicki Minaj, THEY must rule on Covid vaccines

HERE’S a very simple question. How much attention should we pay to anything said by Nicki Minaj?

To complete this exercise, I’d like you to use a scale of between “none” and “none whatsoever”, please.

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Yes, the rapping dimbo has been sounding off about vaccines again.

“My cousin in Trinidad won’t get the vaccine cuz his friend got it & became impotent. His testicles became swollen,” the loon tweeted.

To which all one can say is: Balls. Big, swollen, balls.

Scientists and government ministers have rightly told her she’s talking rubbish. Trouble is, there are plenty of people in the world as thick as Nicki.

Drop in on any social media site and you’ll see someone arguing that if you take the vaccine you’ll turn into a lizard. With your brain controlled remotely by Bill Gates.

Sheesh, I’ve got a close relative who thinks the Covid vaccine makes you MAGNETIC. Take AstraZeneca and you’ll end up stuck to the fridge door for life.

That’s the problem when we come to talk about vaccines. The debate is kind of hijacked by people who think the moon landings were fake and the Twin Towers were blown up by George W Bush. In other words, nutjobs.

Like all sensible people, I’m pro-vaccine. I’ve had both my jabs and I’m looking forward to my booster.

But I am not entirely convinced of the need to vaccinate our children. First, because the virus scarcely affects them at all. And second because there is some evidence that they might develop better antibodies from the virus itself.

In short, the kids are being asked to take a hit for the team — which may still be the right course of action. I’m not sure.

But what I am absolutely certain about is that if children between the ages of 12 and 15 really are going to have these jabs then it MUST be with the consent of their parents.

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It is dangerous and disingenuous to pretend that a 12-year-old can make up his or her mind on an issue like this.

They can scarcely decide what to have for tea between chicken nuggets and pizza. They are far too young to make a decision over the vaccine. So, too, in my opinion are 15-year-olds.

So parents should decide if their kids have the jab. And sure, some parents will say no for the most stupid of reasons. The Nicki Minaj kind of reasons.

But that is their prerogative as parents. They are the lawful custodians of their children. Not the teachers, not Chris Whitty and the scientists, not the state. And we shouldn’t be bullied in this manner.

For a long while now many of our institutions have attempted to diminish the importance of parents. Schools and social services departments in particular.

The teachers and the social workers think that the kids are THEIRS. Already in schools a whole bunch of stuff which should be taught by parents is taught by the state instead.

All of these institutions need to understand that unless a child’s life is directly in danger, then the wishes of the parents must prevail.

The state needs to be reminded, very forcibly, that the people who make the crucial decisions about what happens to children are the people who bring them up. End of story.

Chump in the road

ANOTHER day, another road closed by smug, middle-class, unwashed hipster ecotossers.

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More beards than you could shake a stick at. And that’s just the women.
This time it’s a group called Insulate Britain. I wish to God we could insulate Britain from these clowns.

Endangering jobs and spoiling everyone’s day. All because they think THEY know something that the rest of us don’t.

Listen, Ludo and Benedict, or whatever the hell you are called. We are aware of global warming. We are aware that we need to do more to lower our carbon emissions.

But actually closing a road RAISES carbon emissions because half the cars are sat there with their engines on. And they will still need to travel to their original destinations.

All closing a road does is make us want to smack you around the face with a dead halibut.

Grow up, get a job and leave the roads alone.

Bring Begum back in

I’VE changed my mind about Shamima Begum. Call me an old softie.

She’s the lass who at the age of 15 went to fight for IS in Syria. A committed terrorist, then. She’s still in a refugee camp somewhere godforsaken.

I was always opposed to her being allowed back in. You made your bed, love – you lie in it.

But it seems pretty clear to me that she’s changed. So maybe we should show a little bit of compassion and let her back in.

Seven years in a tent is punishment enough. Hell, three days’ glamping is enough for me.

When I was 15 I was a member of the Socialist Workers Party. I was dedicated to a violent revolution and the imposition of a communist dictatorship. That’s because I was an idiot who knew nowt.

Much the same can be said of Begum. Let her back in – and keep an eye on her for a while.

Beanz meanz crimez

THE police have asked shopkeepers not to sell baked beans to children.
This is because they are likely to throw them at houses. Or empty them on to front doorsteps.

It’s a craze generated by the God-awful Chinese social network site, TikTok. The kids who do it are known as “bean bandits”, apparently.

Children have always been stupid. But the internet seems to have made them even more dense. Every week a pointless or dangerous craze comes out – and the kids lap it up.

Remember planking, lying down in a very dangerous place such as a railway line, or the edge of a skyscraper? They loved that, and plenty died.

They were killed playing Punch 4 Punch, too. That’s where you film yourself punching someone as hard as you can.

Next it will be headbutting lorries on the M1 or something.

Keep them off these sites for as long as you are able.

Not all like Em

LIKE everyone else in the known universe, I was astonished and thrilled by Emma Raducanu.

Such grace, poise and determination. The sports story of the century. And she seems such a decent kid.

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The Left, of course, had to co-opt the poor lass into their stupid political ideology. “See – that’s why we should have more immigration!”

They were all at it. Including the idiotic Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan – who spelled her name wrongly.

Listen. Emma came to Britain legally with her family. Her mum and dad are hard working and well qualified and speak perfect English. They have instilled in Emma a sense of discipline, diligence and a determination to succeed.

In other words, they are EXACTLY the kind of immigrants we welcome with open arms. The more the better. But that’s not entirely true of all immigrants, is it?

Manon’s making a meal of it

POUTY French Bake Off star Manon Lagreve has been lecturing British children. They snack too often, she says.

French kids will instead sit down to a four-course meal. And that’s better?

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Au contraire. It can apparently be far healthier to eat small amounts frequently than one big meal.

“Mini-meals can aid in satisfying the appetite, stabilising blood sugar levels, and providing nutrients to the body throughout the day. Smaller, more frequent meals in your daily eating patterns also can aid in a more efficient metabolism compared to a slower metabolism when meals are skipped,” according to a US nutritionist.

So Manon, in the nicest possible way, shove that up your derriere.