HAPPY Mother’s Day to all the mums reading this.
I hope the lost hour from the clocks going forward last night hasn’t curtailed your lie-in.
Not to mention, obviously, the breakfast in bed and the day full of delightful surprises and treats your kids and partner will have lined up.
I know. Massive eye roll, right?
The prevailing narrative about today is that after breakfast in bed, mums should be snuggled up on the sofa all day while our kids pander to our every need, gifting us chocolates, champers and flowers.
Meanwhile, our husband cooks lunch and then tidies up before running a bath and leaving us in peace to doze through a movie on the sofa.
And, after the past two years when it has been mothers who have largely taken on the home-schooling, cooking and extra domestic burden of lockdown, I think it is fair to say that that would be our dream day.
But the reality — at least in my experience — is that most kids forget to buy a card, let alone buy chocolates or flowers.
So, either you buy something for them to give back to you (I’ll admit it, I’ve done this!) or your husband buys a card for them and then it’s a load of grief to get them to write a few words on it.
I have to confess that I have in the past been guilty of being one of those people who says “don’t do anything” and then had a massive huff when they took me at my word.
These days, I don’t “expect” my kids to do anything. But it is nice to be appreciated. And making an effort shows that you appreciate your mum.
By making an effort (Paul, if you’re reading this) I mean that I would like the same sort of effort that I put in for Father’s Day . . . that is, make a fuss, cook — or book a restaurant — and make sure the kids have gifts and cards.
Oh, and breakfast in bed wouldn’t hurt either.
The reality of my Mother’s Day is that usually I book a restaurant for my mum and have to persuade my kids to come.
The risk is that they say they are coming and are then too hungover from the night before to show up.
This year, my expectations are low — my mother is in Dubai, and so is my daughter.
And my son doesn’t seem to give a hoot about the fact it’s Mother’s Day.
On the other hand, I’m lucky that I speak to my kids every day and see my son three or four times a week as he pops in on his way home from work.
And the truth is that I know my kids appreciate and love me. And — honestly — I would prefer this to having just one day a year when I get flowers and have a fuss made.
The reality about Mother’s Day is that it’s about the kids not the mother.
Bury expectations
One year my kids gave me a stone they had painted in class (it was meant to be a paperweight, I think). I made out it was the best gift I had ever been given.
They made my breakfast, which was burnt toast and orange juice that spilled on the bed when it slid off the tray. I made out it was the best breakfast I had ever had.
And, as mothers everywhere will be doing today, I made them feel that everything I did for them for the other 364 days of the year was made equal by that one day they did things for me.
Because even on Mother’s Day, you are still a mum.
What we all really want, obviously, is two first-class tickets to Barbados, rather than a painted stone.
But we bury our expectations, are grateful for anything we are given — a card with a nice message in it will go a long way — and remember that if everything doesn’t go to plan . . . well, that’s motherhood for you.
BEAUTY CAN DO THE BIZ
HUGE congratulations to Harpreet Kaur for winning the final of Apprentice.
She has received a £250,000 investment in her business and also a partnership with Lord Sugar. It is well deserved.
Both she and Kathryn Burn, the other finalist, did brilliantly to make it to the end.
This series has really tested the applicants and both finalists proved themselves as true businesswomen.
So isn’t it annoying that, according to Kathryn, some fans of the show have “sexualised” the female contestants for posing in bikinis on Instagram?
As she rightly pointed out, she is allowed to celebrate her glamorous side as well as working hard and owning a company.
But Kathryn says some viewers seem to have the opinion that she can’t pose in a bikini and be a businesswoman, as if it’s simply not possible to have both brains and beauty.
In fact, the list of women who have both is endless.
What an outdated and archaic attitude some people have.
And good on Kathryn for pointing it out.
GORD BLIMEY
GORDON RAMSAY has been accused of a hate crime following his comments that he “can’t stand” Cornish people, after reigniting a war with his neighbours.
Ramsay owns a property on the Cornish coast and angered locals with his comment when he was on Zoe Ball’s BBC Radio 2 Breakfast Show on Tuesday.
He told stand-in host Vernon Kay: “Trust me, I absolutely love Cornwall – it’s just the Cornish I can’t stand.”
I’m sure some people will say it’s a bit short-sighted to insult – and alienate – the people you will be staying cheek-by-jowl with.
But it’s not a crime to have an opinion. Seems to me the locals don’t like tourists – they practically tried to run him out of town during lockdown.
So you can see why he doesn’t like them.
TRANS SPORT POSER
THERE has been a lot of controversy and disagreement lately about the transgender swimmer Lia Thomas.
Thomas competed for three years as a male collegiate swimmer at the University of Pennsylvania before beginning hormone therapy in 2019.
Last week, she won the 500-yard freestyle title at the women’s NCAA Championships with a time of four minutes and 33 seconds.
That was more than 1.5 seconds ahead of her closest rival, Emma Weyant.
Former Olympic decathlete and gold medal-winner Caitlyn Jenner has said that Thomas is not the rightful winner, and that Weyant is – describing it as just “common sense”.
Jenner previously hit out at the NCAA’s decision to let Thomas, 22, compete against biological women and it was brave of her to do so.
It is obviously a very thorny issue, but it undoubtedly raises some questions.
My biggest one is this: Why don’t they have a separate category for trans athletes to make it undeniably fair?
TOPPLE TYRANT
SPECULATION is growing that Vladimir Putin is at risk of being deposed in a coup led by Russian security services.
The rumour is based on discontent over his botched invasion of Ukraine.
In many ways that is surely the best and swiftest outcome anyone can hope for.
I’d go a step further.
How one man can be the cause of so much misery, pain, destruction and death is beyond me.
I’d put a £1billion bounty on his head and hope to tempt someone into taking him out of the picture altogether.
CARIBBEAN KATE’S GLOWING PLACES
LOTS of questions have been raised about the Cambridges’ tour of the Caribbean, but I have mainly been focused on Kate’s “tourdrobe”.
The glowing duchess has been snapped in a series of jaw-droppingly gorgeous outfits.
She looks more beautiful than ever, with several amazing new outfits every day.
I have spent the past week googling where to buy each one, as each outfit is more perfect than the last.
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